Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Discipline and Peace in the Home

I have tried very hard to make my home my sanctuary. A place that I can rely on as a safe haven from my anxiety. A place that promotes peace and love. However lately I have noticed that delicate balance shifting. As my sweet little baby girl has been growing up and turning into a full blown whining, tantrum throwing two year old, I find myself struggling with discipline. Specifically, the balance with myself and my spouse. 

As new parents we are both trying to figure out our parenting style and come up with a consistent method of discipline, but it gets difficult. When you feel like you have no idea what you are doing, or feel like you don't know what you should do, and the whining and crying doesn't stop, it can be FRUSTRATING. When I am alone with her I can handle the time outs and there are no anxiety related problems. But when my husband is disciplining her, I get very uneasy. I don't like feeling out of control and I don't like seeing Mr. T frustrated. Even if he isn't frustrated, I am worried that he will be.

We don't spank and we try our best to keep our cool and not raise our voices. But I am still worried about losing that peaceful spirit we have whenever a tantrum erupts or maybe when the 5th tantrum of the day erupts. We'll take turns when we've had it to get refreshed. Sometimes I will even walk outside and take a few deep breaths.

So I am not sure where to go from here. I guess this is more of an observation post about new triggers in my life. As my life is changing and I overcome old triggers, new ones are developing.

I've noticed that any disruption of the peace in my home is a cause for me to feel anxious, not just discipline. But this particular instance is a daily occurrence right now.  Looking at the bigger picture, I feel that I need to learn how to better deal with confrontation in general.

Anyone else have any suggestions or any stories of similar triggers?

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